Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Supermom = Super Exhausted!

As a woman who grew up in the 60’s and 70’s, I remember the commercial “I can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan”. Excellent concept, it made us FINALLY feel “equal”. However, shortly after, reality hits like a ton of bricks. How equal are we really?
When the working mother comes home from work, she STILL has dishes to do, dinner to cook, homework to check, laundry to do, lunches to prepare, picking up the everyday messes all normal households have. The family is so used to "mom" handling it all that they don't think she could use a hand at home (from the kids AND hubby). So as a result, she ends up working more than 80 hours in a week!
Before you women get too upset by this article, consider all of the facts first. Sure, we CAN do it all, but the question is at what price?
Statistically women are still paid far less then men in the exact same field. Why? Who knows? Women have to work twice as hard in the workplace to earn the respect of our colleagues.
That being said, Mom then gets the pleasure of coming home and putting in another 8 hours worth of work doing the household chores and trying to spend a little quality time with the kids. Our weekends are spent trying to do the majority of household work we didn’t have the time, or the energy to do during the week. Add in the kids’ activities to keep up with along with chauffeuring each one to different events. IF we have the time, we also have to do the marketing and personal errands that had to be put off during the week. If married or with a “significant other”, you then must add in time to keep up with your appearance and be ready for romance at the drop of a hat. WHERE do we get all of this energy? When do we have time (or the energy) to go outside and toss a ball with our son or spend the day being “girly” with our daughters?
Many who do work claim its “quality” over “quantity” that matters. Though true enough, how much “quality” can there be in fifteen minutes a day (if you’re lucky). When do you get that one on one time? Unfortunately, you don’t and even worse, the kids notice this. You have to ask yourself will they remember their childhood? Will they remember that few minutes here and there you gave them? No, more than likely they will only remember how little you were home, and when you busy or tired you were. I understand many do not have the option of being a stay-at-home mother, however, if you are willing to go without the new car in the driveway or the designer clothes, it can be done. What’s even sadder is when I hear moms in tears because their child turned to drugs or gangs or ended up getting pregnant at 16. I feel like saying, what did you expect? When kids are raised on the streets or by other friends, it’s inevitable. I’m one of those moms that kids talk to, and the biggest complaint is how little mom and dad are home, or even when they are, they are too tired or too busy. It makes the kids feel as if they are invisible.
I’m not sure about you, but I know by the time the day has ended, I’m too worn out to care if my hair is fixed or my makeup looks nice...or be thrilled when hubby gets “that gleam” in his eye.
For those of you that can pull this off, I applaud you. I know of some very powerful women who do find balance, when possible their offices tend to be out of their homes. However, those are few and far between who can actually find a good balance where the family doesn’t come in last.
This brings me back to the original question (and something to consider)... sure, Supermoms do exist and it can be done...but at what price?
Til Next Time - Deb

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